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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116903">powerless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/aircherub/pseuds/aircherub'>aircherub</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>13 Reasons Why (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alex is a supportive boyfriend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:40:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,528</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26116903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/aircherub/pseuds/aircherub</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>No one knows how to deal with grief, especially not teenagers.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charlie St. George/Alex Standall</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>56</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>powerless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/AeonWing/gifts">AeonWing</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>ive been having such horrible writers block but then i got this prompt and i forced myself to focus and write so yeah i hope you all enjoy it &lt;3 hopefully i'll actually complete my other fic ideas at some point soon!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>6:17pm: are u at home?</i>
</p>
<p>Alex frowns at the message, wondering why Zach had messaged him on a Sunday night and immediately pushing aside any worst-case scenarios that came to mind. </p>
<p><i>6:19pm: yeah, why?</i> </p>
<p>
  <i>6:20pm: im picking u up, dont freak out</i>
</p>
<p>“Well now I’m fucking freaking out, asshole.” He mutters angrily to himself, getting up from where he was laying on his bed and pulling on a pair of sweatpants and grabbing his shoes and wallet. </p>
<p>Alex made his way downstairs to wait for Zach, thankful that both his parents were at work for the evening so he didn’t have to explain why he was suddenly going out. The silence in the house made his thoughts seem suffocating, he tried to push down the worry and anxiety that Zach’s messages gave him but he knew if it was life threatening Zach would’ve at least called or given him some sort of explanation.</p>
<p>He didn’t have long to wallow in his panic before his phone vibrated in his hand, a short message from Zach telling him he was outside and moments later he was buckling his seatbelt and looking at his friend expectantly. Zach didn’t give any clues on what was going on, just pulled out of Alex’s driveway and started heading to their destination. </p>
<p>“Are you gonna give me any sort of hint on what the fuck’s going on or are we gonna play 21 questions?” Alex asked, anger and sarcasm dripping from his words to try and erase any panic but he knew he wasn’t fooling Zach. </p>
<p>“Charlie was at the cemetery.” Zach said simply. “I was… I was visiting everyone, you know, my dad and Hannah, Justin.” </p>
<p>“Oh.” Alex mumbled, fingers twisting around the ends of his hoodie sleeves. </p>
<p>“I saw Charlie, he wasn’t at Justin’s grave though and didn’t go talk to him because I don’t know much about… cemetery etiquette but he looked pretty fucked up and I think he needs someone to ground him.” Zach glanced at Alex briefly, taking in his clenched fists resting on his lap and the way his eyes were blinking erratically, as if trying to force themselves to focus. Zach reached out to grab Alex’s wrist, squeezing once before pulling back to put both hands on the wheel. “He’s not hurt, he’s fine, he just… being alone in a cemetery isn’t exactly a fun thing.”</p>
<p>“You were alone in a cemetery.” Alex pointed out gently, a silent reminder that Zach could just as easily come to get Alex for himself as well as for Charlie. He knew how Zach grieved - and God, Alex realised just how depressing it was to be a teenager and understand in such intimate detail how all of his friends handled death - so he knew that Zach internalised just about everything so him being alone voluntarily wasn’t too much of a concern. </p>
<p>Charlie being alone, however, was more of a concern. He was almost always with someone, thriving on the simple act of companionship no matter who he was with and while Alex knew that Charlie could take care of himself and reach out if he needed help, he was still worried. Alex also was aware that if he wasn’t there to see Justin, Charlie would only go to the cemetery to visit his mom. He racked his brain, trying to think if today’s date was of any importance to Charlie and his mom but nothing came up. He knew Charlie didn’t <i>need</i> it to be a specific date to visit his mom, but for some reason that gave him a dizzying sense of anxiety. </p>
<p>The rest of the drive to the cemetery was short and silent, Alex trying and failing to calm himself down and Zach sending him cautious glances, knowing that he won’t be able to calm down the other boy either. </p>
<p>“Want me to wait?” Zach asked as they pulled up to the cemetery. </p>
<p>“No it’s, it’s fine.” Alex shook his head, eyes trained on the gates in front of them. “We can walk back or call an uber.”</p>
<p>“Alright, man. Let me know you’re okay, make sure he’s safe.” Zach patted Alex on the shoulder, watching as he took in a breath and left the car. </p>
<p>The cemetery wasn’t big so it didn’t take long for Alex to find Charlie, sitting cross legged on the grass next to a headstone. His elbows were on his knees, head in his hands and Alex could see his shoulders shaking. </p>
<p>He had never seen Charlie cry before. He had seen him sad on many occasions but Charlie had an almost practiced handle on his emotions, no doubt as a result of feeling grief from such a young age, not wanting the people around him to give him their pity. Charlie had a sunny disposition that was almost blinding and seeing him in such a fragile state had Alex almost tear up in sympathy. </p>
<p>“Charlie.” Alex murmured gently, not wanting to startle his boyfriend. Charlie tensed, quickly wiping his eyes before looking over at Alex. </p>
<p>“H-hey, ‘Lex.” Charlie’s voice was hoarse, his eyes bloodshot and rimmed with red. He looked like he wanted to ask Alex how he knew he was there but then thought better of it, averting his eyes back down to the grave. </p>
<p>“Can I join you?” He asked, gesturing to the space next to Charlie. </p>
<p>Charlie looked back to Alex, surprised for a fleeting moment before the previous sadness leaked back into his features, he gave Alex a shaky nod. Alex slowly lowered himself to the ground, his knee giving him little trouble as he sat cross legged next to Charlie. Once settled, his hand immediately reached out to hold Charlie’s, knowing he needed the physical contact. </p>
<p>“Hey, Mrs. St. George.” Alex started, his voice unsure and hesitant but the way Charlie’s breath hitched and the grip on his hand tightened steeled his nerves. “I’m Alex Standall. Your son’s boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“She knows.” Charlie choked out, clearing his throat after. “I’ve told her a lot about you.” </p>
<p>“Good things, I hope.” Alex whispered, squeezing Charlie’s hand before adjusting himself so that he was sitting behind Charlie, the younger boy between his legs. He wrapped his arms around Charlie’s waist, hoping that the touch would anchor him slightly. </p>
<p>“I miss her so much.” Charlie said, his eyes filling with tears all over again. </p>
<p>“I know.” Alex said, placing a quick kiss on the top of Charlie’s head. “She’d be so proud of you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t-,” Charlie cut himself off, a pained whimper leaving his mouth as he turned his body slightly so his face was buried in Alex’s chest. He let out a harsh cry, Alex’s eyes closing as he wished he could do something, anything, to get rid of his pain. “I don’t know how to do this.” </p>
<p>“No one does, Charlie.” Alex soothed, his fingers trailing up and down Charlie’s back in what he hoped is a comforting gesture. “No one is expecting you to have all the answers for this. Let yourself be sad over this, we’ll figure it out together.” </p>
<p>At those words Charlie let out a sob and Alex soon felt his hoodie become wet from tears. Alex knew there was nothing he could say or do to help calm Charlie, he had to let him work through it himself before helping him pick up the pieces. </p>
<p>He didn’t know how long they sat together on the cold ground of the cemetery, his knee was starting to ache slightly and the sun had set by the time Charlie sniffed and pulled away from Alex. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Charlie said, looking at the state of Alex’s hoodie. </p>
<p>“It’s okay.” Alex shrugged. “I’ve cried on plenty of your sweaters and I’m sure I’ll cry on many more.” He promised, poking Charlie’s side lightly to try and alleviate at least some of the heavy air of sadness that was over them and at Charlie’s quick smile he knew he succeeded. </p>
<p>“I look forward to it.” Charlie said, standing up and holding his hand out to help Alex. </p>
<p>Once they were both on their feet, hands still interlocked, Alex looked up at Charlie, eyes searching his face but he wasn’t sure what he was really looking for. </p>
<p>“Have you eaten?” Alex asked, guessing that Charlie had been at his mother’s grave for at least a few hours so he probably skipped dinner. At the sheepish shake of Charlie’s head, Alex knew he guessed right. “Let’s go to Rosie’s, it’s been too long since I’ve had a milkshake. My treat?” </p>
<p>They walked to the diner, not letting go of each other’s hands until they were settled in the booth across from one another. Alex’s foot hooked around Charlie’s ankle and two half finished milkshakes in front of them. They didn’t speak much, only to have an in depth argument on the best milkshake flavour which just ended in Charlie defending the honour of his chocolate milkshake while Alex just rolled his eyes, agreeing to disagree. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” Charlie said after a few moments of silence, voice so earnest and heartfelt and Alex knew he didn’t just mean the milkshake.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>comments + kudos are always appreciated! if you have a request or prompt just send it to my <a href="https://aircherub.tumblr.com/">tumblr</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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